If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call the police on Triple Zero (000).

Family violence can be a very difficult concept to wrap one’s head around. Every situation is different, and it is not uncommon for those involved in family violence to be in denial over what it is they are experiencing. If you suspect that you or someone you know might be experiencing family violence, it is an innovative idea to read up on the topic. You may also need to consider contacting a family violence lawyer. This might be challenging, but it is a key step towards getting help for yourself or others. Everybody, including you, deserves to be and feel safe and secure.

What Is Family Violence in the Eyes of the Law?

Family violence is defined by the law as any behaviour that coerces, controls, or causes a family member to be afraid. It describes an act or pattern of behaviour that is physically, emotionally, sexually, economically, or psychologically abusive. The definition of family violence also includes circumstances in which a child witnesses any one of these behaviours. Family violence is not necessarily easy to identify or define, and there are many situations falling under this definition that may be mistaken for something else. For example, the term can be applied to a situation in which someone has intentionally damaged or threatened to damage property. It is also relevant in cases where a child cleans up after a family member who has deliberately damaged the property of another family member. Causing death or injury to an animal to control, dominate or coerce a family member also constitutes family violence, regardless of whether that animal belongs to any family member. Please note that these examples are considered instances of family violence in Victoria but may be termed differently under other jurisdictions.

If you are uncertain as to whether you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, the following points of clarification may help you.

Who Can Experience Family Violence?

Family violence can occur in many kinds of relationships. A lot of the time, when we think of domestic and family violence, we think of abuse between partners, ex-partners, or parents and their young children. While this is accurate, family violence can also unfold between family members such as siblings, cousins, adult children, grandparents, and elderly parents. For the purposes of defining domestic and family violence in Victoria, family members include any former or current domestic partner; individuals who have or used to have an intimate relationship (sexual or otherwise) with the perpetrator; any child of an individual who has or had an intimate relationship with the perpetrator; and any child who normally lives or previously lived with the perpetrator. Family violence can also occur within non-family relationships, such as that which exists between an individual and their carer.

Violence can develop at any point during a relationship, potentially beginning or getting worse during a separation, pregnancy, or court proceedings. It is important to note that men can be the victims of family violence, and women can be perpetrators of family violence. Family violence can happen to anyone.

What Are the Different Kinds of Abuse?

There are many forms of family violence or domestic abuse. Some examples include:

1. Emotional and psychological abuse: There are many forms of emotional abuse, and this is a type of violence that overlaps with many others. To threaten, intimidate or manipulate a person is emotionally abusive, as is controlling what they can do and speak. Other examples of abuse that fit into this category include intentionally scaring someone, damaging their self-esteem, or blaming them for all the problems within a relationship.
2. Physical abuse: This is when someone uses physical violence against someone else to intimidate, threaten, frighten, or harm. Examples of physical abuse also include not allowing somebody to sleep, the withholding of food or medicine, and forcing somebody to take drugs.
3. Sexual abuse: This includes touching or kissing a person without their consent, as well as forcing or pressuring someone to engage in a sexual activity when they don’t want to.
4. Verbal abuse: Related to emotional abuse, verbal abuse can include name-calling, putting someone down, yelling, swearing, screaming, and humiliating.
5. Social abuse: Social abuse means to isolate a person from other people. The perpetrator might forbid or prevent their victim from contacting their friends and family or going out to meet people. They might publicly humiliate them; restrict their access to a car or phone; or move them to a location with no support, employment opportunities or people they know.
6. Financial abuse:  Stopping someone from accessing money, and/or taking complete control of their money is financial abuse. Examples include stopping them from working or studying, demanding money from them, monitoring their spending closely or forcing them to sign financial documents. It can also take the form of dowry abuse.
7. Harassment and stalking: Within the context of family violence, harassment and stalking refers to when one person follows, watches, or monitors a family member constantly. The perpetrator might use tracking devices, spyware, webcams, drones or recording devices to monitor someone without their consent. The perpetrator might also go through their personal information and harass them via the phone or social media.
8. Technology abuse: Many types of technology abuse would also be considered harassment and stalking since technology can be easily used for the purposes of monitoring. Other examples of technology abuse include posting someone’s personal information or impersonating and defaming that person online.
9. Spiritual abuse: Spiritual abuse takes many forms. Among other things, it could involve forcing a person to partake in activities that go against their religion, preventing someone from practising their religion, or using religious teachings or tradition to justify violence.
10. Damaging property: Taking, damaging, destroying, or tampering with property is a form of family violence. This includes the installation of tracking devices.
11. Exposing a child to family violence: There are many situations that fall under this umbrella. If a child witnesses or hears something, cleans up after an incident, or comforts or tries to help a parent in a dangerous situation, they have been exposed to family violence. The same applies if they notice an injury, miss school, or are manipulated into hating or spying on a parent because of family violence.
12. Forced marriage: This occurs when an individual is made to marry someone, despite never giving their full consent. This might be because they are a child, or because they were threatened, deceived, harmed, or pressured.
13. Reproductive abuse: When one person forces another to terminate a pregnancy, fall pregnant, or use or not use birth control, it is reproductive abuse.
14. Systems abuse: Manipulating the legal system against a person or threatening to report someone to the authorities to gain control or incite fear is systems abuse.

What Can You Do If You’re the Victim of Family Violence?

If you are experiencing family violence, you may find the idea of getting help overwhelming. This is completely normal. Granted you are not in immediate danger (call police on Triple Zero [000] if you are), the best thing you can do right now is learn about your options.

Family Violence Intervention Order

We recommend applying for an intervention order, as this will allow you to protect yourself and your loved ones from family violence. These orders are made to protect a person or persons from experiencing violence at the hands of a specific family member, who in this context is known as the respondent. The family violence intervention order will outline several conditions that are designed to stop the respondent from having any opportunity to subject their family members to violence. If these conditions are breached by the respondent, it can lead to a criminal charge.

How to Apply for an Intervention Order

In Victoria, you can apply for an intervention order at any Magistrate’s Court without an appointment. If you are aged 14–17 or applying on behalf of a child, you can apply at the Children’s Court. You will need to fill in an application form from the counter or the website. This application form outlines some standard conditions to help guide you, but you can also add any specific conditions you require to feel safe in your circumstances. You can also reach out to family violence lawyers to help advise you and take you through the process.

Interim Order

If you need immediate protection, you can apply for an interim intervention order. A magistrate can also make an interim order if they feel that someone is unsafe and requires immediate protection. This order provides protection until everyone involved in the intervention order can appear in court. It can be made without the respondent’s presence in court and without their knowledge.

What Can You Do to Help Someone if You Think They Are a Victim of Family Violence?

If you suspect that someone you know is experiencing family violence, there are a few things you can do to help. This is an extremely difficult position to be in, but while it may feel hopeless, your actions can make a world of difference.

You can report family violence to the police by calling Triple Zero (000) or contacting your local police station. We advise that you let the authorities handle it, and don’t personally intervene. You may feel the need to say something or confront the perpetrator, but this can (and often does) lead to further violence enacted upon the victim or victims.

Instead, try to offer support to the victim. If they share their experience with you, listen to them and believe what they have to say. Maintain regular contact and offer them practical assistance, such as minding their children. While the situation may seem strange to you, it is not helpful to judge. Respect their right to decide how they will deal with the situation. The best thing you can do is inform them of their options and the services available — and, if you observe any form of violence occurring, call Triple Zero (000).

Need Legal Support or Advice?

In situations of family violence, seeking help can be incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing. Please know that you do not have to go through the legal procedures alone. Find a law firm that can offer you legal advice and support and will do everything to help you and your family.